November 6, 2023
I’m just days away from my due date for little pistachio and a part of me is still in denial our family will be gaining a new member.
photos by amanda noel photos
It doesn’t feel real even when I feel their kicks and I can see myself getting bigger each day.
A lot of you have asked why we call this baby pistachio. First off we don’t know the gender, we did this with Berlin and it was awesome, highly recommend for your first or last baby! But anyways when I was pregnant with Berlin we called her our little peanut, beware if you decide to call your baby peanut, you will receive a lot of elephant themed items from people. a lot.
So when I got pregnant with this baby we just happened to be eating a lot of pistachios. So I just decided to stick with the nut theme and go with Pistachio.
After getting my iud taken out, It took about 6 months to get pregnant. I thought it would have happened quicker but A few days before I took a test I told Joe that if I wasn’t currently pregnant then we should be wait until after we moved in fall 2024 to try again. He agreed but it turns out I was already pregnant but didn’t know it yet. I actually waited a day or two to tell joe because I wanted it to be special and I wanted to include Berlin in some way. I added her handprint to the piece of paper that read “You knocked up Mommy” and she handed it to him during dinner time.
The start of this pregnancy was completely different than the what it was with Berlin. I was much more nauseous and sick with her. This time I only got sick about once a week. And oddly It was only brought on when I was brushed my teeth/tongue. Apparently it’s really normal and happens to tons of pregnant women. I didn’t have cravings or food aversions. My sense of smell wasn’t crazy strong and smells didnt bother me. My energy level was normal. And I was truly shocked when I took a test. Again in denial because it was so apparently obvious that I was pregnant with Berlin. My feet are currently a little little bit swollen but I’m still able to wear my wedding ring which was not the case last time.
My symptoms were practically non existent but we found ourselves in a very emotional and confusing position when I was about 12 weeks.
It was suggested that I have an early anatomy scan at 12 weeks to look for markers of genetic disorders. It’s just something my midwives suggested and I always leaned on the side of, if there is something going on I want to know. I went to that ultrasound alone and everything seemed fine, until it wasn’t. After the ultrasound the doctor came in and told me they found potential markers for some genetic disorders. When the doctor started talking to me I felt hot and sweaty and I just kept saying, “okay…okay….okay so what does this mean?”. My heart was pounding and I was doing all I could to hold it together. I was then referred to a genetic counselor. We talked after my ultrasound and I cried and it was overall a pretty horrible day. I called Joe on my way home and updated him on the appointment and we agreed to take everything one appointment at a time. We still hadn’t gotten my genetic blood tests back so while we waited for those, I opted to have a cvs procedure. A cvs procedure is like an amnio but they take a sample of cells from your placenta vaginally instead of through your stomach. This was also a horrible day. It was painful and uncomfortable. Thankfully the results of the procedure and the blood tests concluded that the baby did not have a genetic disorder. Overall the doctors agreed that it was a dating issue so my due date was pushed back a week.
From there on out my mind was more at ease and I was able to enjoy my pregnancy a little bit more. We took a trip to Sacramento and Tahoe to visit family and I dragged Joe and Berlin with me to a wedding in lake arrowhead in the summer. I say I was enjoying it a little bit more because it’s pretty exhausting taking care of a toddler and working full time and growing a human. I started taking naps which is a true rarity for me and falling asleep earlier in the night like 7:30/8pm. Berlin was born during the summer of 2020 so months before her birth I wasn’t doing anything. My calendar wasn’t booked with shoots 4-5 times a week. Weddings weren’t happening every weekend. I didn’t have a huge editing workload. I wasn’t traveling or flying all over for weddings. I spent my days lounging around and swinging in our hammock. We definitely kept ourselves busy, going to countless concerts and spending time in the pool with family. Joe and I even snuck away to Vegas for a festival at 37 weeks. Berlin also started preschool so getting her fed, dressed and out the door was a new challenge an routine to get used to.
Partly I think that’s why I still can’t believe we’re having another baby. It’s like my mind hasn’t had time to accept how much our life is gonna change. We’ve been so busy living. My mind hasn’t had time to really process what our Mornings, evenings and nights will look like with two kids. Some days I think Berlin is going to do great when the baby arrives and some days I am so worried and concerned with how she will adjust. She loves playing with her baby dolls and pretending she’s pregnant by putting them in her shirt.
We’re just days away now and we’ve pulled our baby items of storage, I’ve bought a few outfits but not much. I’ve been re-listening to Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth and watching Call the Midwife on Netflix. I made a new birth playlist on Spotify and packed the hospital bag. Everything is ready to go and I’m hoping my body is getting ready too.
We are so ready to meet little pistachio, to find out if they’re a boy or girl, to name them. I cannot wait to introduce them to our friends and family. We opted out of a baby shower again and you can read why here. We have felt an enormous about of love from our families and friends and my clients. Truly grateful for the amazing support system we have and for my team of midwives I’ve seen every week. I am walking into this birth ready for the pain and joy of childbirth. I know my needs will be respected and I’ll be safe. Berlin’s birth was pretty awesome so I’m going into this labor hoping we can have a similar experience but also keeping in mind that not every birth is the same and leaning into whatever comes.
That’s all for now, my next post will probably be weeks from now with photos of pistachios birth.