Okay, so you’re getting married this Spring or Summer or Fall and the coronavirus has got you freaking out. You have no idea if your wedding is going to go on as planned. Everything that you’ve been working for and spending money on and dreaming about might have to be put on hold. It’s scary. It sucks. It’s confusing. It’s hard to deal with because we don’t know what is going to happen and how much worse or how much better things are going to get.

Well I’m here along with my good friend Melissa from Milagro Winery to give you some encouragement and to give you some guidance. I’ve got some practical tips and action steps on what to do if you’re considering postponing your wedding because of the coronavirus. We are also offering some encouragement if you are freaking out and stressin’.

The First Step: Take a Deep Breath

Before you start calling your maid of honor complaining, and panicking and freaking out about your wedding, TAKE A PAUSE, TAKE A BREATH and realize that no matter what the only thing that matters is the person that you’re choosing to spend the rest of your life with. It is so easy to get caught up in wedding planning, all things wedding and all things party but the reality is if you truly care and love your fiancé, a party and a wedding does not matter and you shouldn’t need it to be happy, all you need is that other person.

However it is OK to moment to freak out and stress and be worried and not know what to do. It’s OK to have your feelings it’s OK to be scared.

Just don’t let it steal your joy. Fear is the thief of joy.

I STRONGLY encourage postponing or rescheduling instead of canceling altogether. I say this not because I am a small business and still need to make money (that is part of it) but the main part is that you made a commitment to celebrate with friends and family and they are all looking forward to celebrating with you. Your vendors like your Photographer, Dj, Florist and hair and make up artist’s will do their very best to work with you to do whatever they can to be there for you. They will help you if you decide to have a small ceremony and a big party later. They will try and find replacements if you postpone to a date that they are not available.

Most vendors still want to see your event happen, WHY? Because WE LOVE WEDDINGS. We wouldn’t get into the wedding industry if we didn’t enjoy all of the things that come along with it. We want to see you get married in front of your family and friends. We want to see you smash cake in each other’s face and share a first dance.

We do not want to see you be discouraged by the current situation and give up on having the celebration you deserve.

After you take a breath, Contact Your Venue.

Ask your venue the following questions:

• What is your policy on postponing?
• Are we able to postpone without paying any additional fees and/or losing money we have already paid?
• How far out can we postpone?
• How much notice do we need to give to postpone? *This is a big factor for catering as they need to order food at a certain point and if it is has already been ordered the couple may be out of luck cost wise*
• Date availability? Can we hold a certain date or two and if so for how long?
• Do any fees change if our wedding is now on a new day of the week or season?
• Does anything change if our guest count will now be lower due to this situation?

“That is the biggest factor in their wedding as it determines location, size, date availability, etc. It is also likely the bulk of their budget. You don’t want to alert your other vendors and complicate things if you haven’t begun a plan with your venue yet. It is likely the first questions from your other vendors will be if the location and/or date have changed. Once you have an idea of other date choices reach out to your other vendors to check their policies and date availability.”–Melissa Venue Manager for Milagro Winery

Make sure you get their answers IN WRITING -Melissa

Next Contact Insurance and the County

“Two other vendors to contact right away that some may forget about- Insurance and Marriage License. If you have already paid for your event insurance for your specific wedding date you should contact them to see if a date change can occur and what that entails.  If you have already received your marriage license from the court it is only valid for a certain amount of time. Contact your county and ask them how this all works if you can no longer get married within the time frame of your marriage license or how you can still have your original wedding date as valid.”-Melissa

Be open and understanding as much as you can.

I have had a few spring brides postpone their wedding to when I will be on maternity leave. That makes me so sad. I was really looking forward to being there. But because I’m a photographer and there are so many photographers in San Diego I have built up a network of photographer friends and started working with an associate who I trust completely to treat my brides 100% like I would. And this is probably true for most other vendors. As people in this industry we need vendor friends. We need people that we can call in case we need them. So the best thing that you can do is be open to suggestions and replacements, if they are not giving them, ASK.

Know that you are not alone!

So so so many other couples are in the same exact boat as you, not just in CA but all across the country. Couples don’t know what to do in regards to what is supposed to be the happiest and most important day of you life, vendors are losing money left and right and can’t even go out and shoot. BUT THERE IS HOPE AND THERE IS GOOD.

Maybe…just maybe…this extra time is what you needed.

OK so hear me out. Maybe you’re a really really bad procrastinator? And if you have to postpone your wedding that gives you a few more months to get your ish together. Maybe you were really not happy with your flower choice and now you are having your wedding in the fall. Fall color pallets are BEAUTIFUL!! Maybe Unexpected bills come up and you were worried about how you were going to make your final payments to your venue or your other vendors. Now you have a little bit more time.

Maybe everything was paid for but you didn’t have the budget originally for a videographer and now you can use the next few months to save up for a videographer? Maybe you want to add more florals because you can save more money and increase your floral budget? Maybe you could change up your menu? Maybe you can save like crazy and go on the honeymoon you originally always wanted to go on? Do not choose to sit and sulk. Because sitting and sulking is not going to do anything. It’s just gonna piss you off even more. Be practical, be smart, take a deep breath, and move forward even. If you don’t know where you’re moving just move forward.

“The hope is that you can still have the wedding of your dreams simply at a later date. If anything now you can have two anniversaries. More time means trends can change, your vision could change, can work on more DIY projects, build more of a bond with your vendors, etc.”-Melissa

“While it is an unfair and unknown situation find comfort in knowing that many others are in the same exact position as them. This was out of everyone’s control and we all have to take it day by day. It is cliche, but everything happens for a reason. You will get through this, you will still marry the love of your life and have a crazy story to tell your kids one day! Staying healthy and financially stable is going to be the best thing for your marriage at this time. You will certainly have some great advice to give others getting married years from now- don’t sweat the small stuff because at least a virus didn’t force you to postpone your wedding! haha-Melissa”

If you are a June or July Bride….

“I believe June and July weddings should at least have the thought in their head that it is possible they may need to postpone. I would at the very least begin asking vendors the above questions and mainly date availability. It is better to have Plan B and not use it rather than waiting until it is too late. I’d also reach out to your guest that need to travel to your wedding. I’m sure many of their guest are wondering if they will even be able to travel at this point not simply from the health aspect, but financially because of being laid off, etc. This is another reason postponing could be a blessing as it will allow your friends/family more time to save up and make a trip out for your wedding.

I’d put on their wedding website that they are of course holding out hope they don’t have to postpone, but to be open to the idea that their date could change. This allows the guest to then reach out and ask them questions or encourage the couple that it will all work out and they will be there whatever choice has to be made. Your guest are in the same situation as you – they don’t know anything so they are going to be understanding.” -Melissa

Communication is key and getting it all in writing. Ask any and all questions. This is your wedding and this is our business so we are here to help you! Have patience and understanding that your vendors are also trying to figure this all out and likely have quite a few couples navigating through this as well. “-Melissa

If you have any questions please don’t be afraid to reach out to professionals in the industry. You should have at least one vendor on your team that you can go to. Reach out to them if you need to vent, need guidance or help navigating these unknown waters. Use them! Odd’s are they are bored and need something to do and I know they would love to help you! I know I’m really good at talking through things and coming up with ideas and suggestions as I go, so If you need anything, HOLLA AT YOUR GIRL.

Be Good, Stay Safe and Healthy!

Frankie and Melissa(Venue Manager at Milagro Winery)