Okay, so you’re engaged. What now? You’re probably googling, scouring Pinterest, getting advice left and right from family and friends, and suddenly seeing random—creepy— ads on Facebook. Well, stop stressing! I have compiled a simple and short list of do’s and don’ts for planning your wedding from the minute you are asked that most important question.

#1- Take Time to Celebrate

This may be one night, a week, a month, I’ve seen people take up to a year! My point is, take time to enjoy being engaged without planning a wedding. Once you start planning and making decisions, the questions you receive will start to become solely about the logistics and less about your excitement to be newly engaged. That being said, take the time to just be engaged with no wedding talk allowed.

#2- Get your priorities in order right away- and stick to them

Decide what you want and don’t be afraid to hurt people’s feelings by following through with said decisions. People say the wedding is for your family—which in some ways it is—but the ultimate goal is to celebrate your marriage. If you don’t like being on the spot, don’t invite 200 people. If you can’t afford to invite everyone you’ve ever met, don’t. Set boundaries with your families and just be honest and tell them you don’t want their version of the guest list. If you don’t want someone’s flavor of the week there, say it on the invites; Significant others only.

#3- Remember, it’s your party!

We need to stop looking at wedding “traditions” as rules.

Some of my favorite weddings have been the ones where the bride and groom sang karaoke instead of doing a first dance, or when the groom walked his bride down the aisle, or when the bride got ready with only me and the HMUA in the room. We put so much pressure on these traditions but we don’t have to do any of them! If you want to wear a pink dress because it’s your favorite color, DO IT! If you want pie instead of cake, or pizza instead of dry chicken and veggies, DO IT! Figure out what kind of day would reflect your relationship best and go from there.

#4- Stick to your budget

You should not start your marriage off in debt. There is a statistic that one of the most common things couples fight about is money, so don’t let that happen by planning a wedding you can’t afford. Decide what your main priorities are, and spend money wisely on those. You probably should invest more in photography rather than programs. Your fav sneakers or heels are going to be so much more comfortable than a pair of $400 Badgley Mischka heels that you’ll never wear again. If you can’t afford to spend $3k on flowers, don’t. Just spend money on getting the bouquet of your dreams and simply the flowers everywhere else. In my unpopular opinion, baby’s breath isn’t a filler that looks high end that you want all over the place. My point is, invest in the things you care about most, because it isn’t about the party. It is about the marriage, that is what is most important. Don’t forget that..

#5- DIY…to an extent

There are some things that are totally worthy of DIY—doing it yourself. Invitations, favors, or signage are good examples, but when it comes to things that are most important to you, leave it  to a professional. You may be capable of planning your entire wedding yourself, but when it comes to the day, or even the month of, consider hiring a wedding planner. Trust me, hiring a florist will take so much pressure off family members if you wanted to make the flower arrangements yourself, and it will probably yield better results. There are just some things that aren’t worth your precious time and your families’ time. Unless your mom is the best baker in the world, just budget wisely, and find professionals that you love and are worth your money.